Raising Children Without Social Media: A Practical Perspective

Last week, the UK government announced a national consultation on children's use of technology, and gave clearer backing for smartphone-free schools. As a parent raising kids here in the UK, and as someone building technology for children, it felt like the right moment to share what I've been learning.

I've been in discussion with my children's school, where questions about phones, social media, and online pressure come up constantly. These aren't theoretical debates—families are making real decisions right now, often without much guidance or any sense of what other parents are doing.

Building an Alternative

For the past year, I've been building Stamplo, a parent-supervised pen-pal platform for children. There are no feeds, no public profiles, no likes or algorithms. It's not a messaging app—it's deliberately slow. Children write letters to approved pen pals, and every single one requires approval from parents on both sides before it's sent.

It started small, but it's grown steadily. Stamplo is now used by families in 39 countries, with most in the UK and the US. That growth hasn't come from marketing or virality—it's come from parents who've decided to delay smartphones and social media, and needed something different.

Design Decisions That Matter

The design is intentionally constrained. There's no real-time chat. No way for children to discover each other. Every interaction is logged. Parents aren't given after-the-fact controls—they're actively involved in approving every letter. These weren't features we bolted on later. They were the foundation.

From 1 January, all parents on Stamplo will need to complete photo ID verification. This isn't about collecting data. It's about ensuring that every child on the platform is genuinely supervised by a verified adult, and that we can act quickly if something goes wrong.

What Families Actually Need

What I've learned is this: families who avoid social media for their children still want ways for them to connect, especially across distance. Schools want options that don't create competitive dynamics or pressure to be constantly online. Stamplo meets that need—not by mimicking social platforms with guardrails, but by rejecting the entire engagement-driven model.

The current national conversation matters because it recognises that individual parents and schools can't shoulder this alone. The way digital products are designed matters, especially for children. Clearer boundaries help families make decisions together, not in isolation.

A Growing Movement

I'm encouraged by parent- and school-led efforts like Smartphone Free Childhood and the Raise the Age discussion. These conversations focus on structure and responsibility, not blame.

Whatever comes from policy debates, one thing is already clear from experience: when families are offered alternatives that respect how children develop and keep parents genuinely involved, many choose them. That choice deserves to be taken seriously.

Stamplo was built as an alternative to social media-driven communication for children. We support efforts to raise minimum age limits for social media and address addictive design in products used by children, including the work ofSmartphone Free Childhood and the UK Raise the Age discussion.